“Our CEO doesn’t support DEI within the company, BUT……..he does believe in kindness.”

Say whut now??? 😳

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. It’s a disturbing “trend.”

It falls into the same impact category as…..

“we’re all human”

“all lives matter”

These kinds of un-actualized truisms expressly cited to dismiss the actual lived experiences of members of marginalized groups and sidestep responsibility are gaining ground.

Contextually speaking……

Kindness is the “new” deflection.

In a just and fair world……oh wait. We don’t live in that kind of world. “Just be kind” wrongly presumes that we do.

When was the last time you heard members of marginalized groups pushing “kindness” as the solution to systemic ills? Think about it. I’ll wait.

Advocating “kindness” rather than working towards equity and inclusion is a way to explain and justify why a company has NO DEI strategy.

Unfortunately, we’re not hearing any explanation for how these companies are executing on their “kindness strategy.”

What are we to think….

when equity and inclusion end up taking a backseat to the perspective and preferences of one powerful individual?

when an entire organization is “held hostage” by the whims of a “king” and a “king’s court”?

Hmm. Remind you of anything?

The “kindness paradigm” without a strategy is very problematic, especially when

the CEO (or founder, or owner) is white

the C-Suite leaders are white

the board of directors is white

Does anyone in this not unlikely scenario REALLY challenge the status-quo?

Does anyone in this not unlikely scenario even “see” a need to challenge the status-quo?

“Kindness” and “kindness-pushers” got me to thinking about three things—

1. What is DEI…..really? Is it “euphemistic shorthand” for work that seeks to get the power majority to be decent human beings to other human beings? Without DEI efforts, would the default modus operandi be akin to “rape and pillage” that seeks profit and power at the expense of “others”?
2. What do out-of-touch CEOs and leaders cost the organization? Do pro-kindness anti-DEI leaders ever step outside of their bubble to engage in conversations with “others” in order to learn about employees’ day-to-day experiences in the workplace?
3. Decrees, just as company culture, come from the top. A company’s big BUT has the power to block every employee’s shot at equity and inclusion in the workplace. A company’s big BUT is often a “supreme” decision-maker (a CEO, the founder, the owner) who is surrounded by enabling sycophants and gate-keepers with “skin in the game.” Fearing loss of status, proximity, and position, they, too, support “kindness” and avoid DEI.

“Kindness policies” masquerading as weakened and perfunctory DEI come across like this:

• We support “diversity,” BUT…. don’t try to bring representation to our homogeneous teams.
• We support “equity,” BUT…. don’t try to make things fair for everyone.
• We support “inclusion,” BUT….we don’t need to hear from everyone.
• We support “belonging,” BUT….”other” people’s authentic self makes the dominant group uncomfortable.

What do you notice?

All the energy is on the “white side” of the BUT, overshadowing and mocking everything over on the left.

No one is exempt from self-work, not even the CEO.

Intervention Memo

Dear leader,

If you think your “hands are clean” when you practice and preach “kindness” inside your organization while blocking DEI…..

you’re wrong.

You are one of your company’s biggest problems.

You are misinformed in your thinking, which also makes you a danger to employees and an immediate threat to employees that are members of marginalized groups.

Kindness by itself is NOT enough.

Kindness is a complement to and consequence of DEI, not a substitution for it.

Let all this sink in…..

You owe it to yourself and “others” to get serious about BUT reduction.

It’s the kind thing to do.