I was crushed.

All signs pointed to me. I had tenure, experience, great client feedback.

I was missing two things:

white skin and a penis

The white-identifying Latinx VP of Training informed me that for this major assignment of wide exposure and visibility, she had decided to go with Chad, my less-tenured, white male colleague whom I had trained.

When I pressed her for a reason, she gave me an answer that made it clear where she stood.

“You don’t have the universal appeal that Chad has.”

Translation. Most of our clients are white males. Chad is a white male.

Due to her position, she was the final decision-maker.

See also how proximity to whiteness can work.

I was speechless.

Sensing my energy, she proceeded to try and smooth things over.

“It doesn’t really mean anything. You’re one of our best facilitators. You understand, right?”

She actually thought she was making it better.

Still no words from me.

Side note: Everything you’ve heard about needing to be most worried when a Black woman goes quiet, is true.

“You understand, right?” she implored.

Oh, I understand all right. It’s as clear as day. So clear, I can see right through you.

“Theresa?”

I bored a hole in her face with my calm gaze.

“Tell me you understand. Say something.”

Stop talking. Please. stop. talking.

“Theresa……”

To save her life, I simply walked away and never mentioned it again.

Color Is the New (Not New) White

Have you been noticing that many Black folks are averse to being referred to as POC?

It’s because we know stuff. We’ve been on the receiving end of stuff.

Please don’t let the letters “BIPOC” fool you.

If you know, you know.

My story is not a unique one. Though the letters “BIPOC” bind together giving the illusion of a unified demographic group, that’s not the reality of our lived experiences.

Specifically, the active anti-Blackness and pro-whiteness stance of “IPOCs” against Black folks is one of the biggest closely guarded secrets in our respective “B/IPOC” communities.

A bit of historical context….

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 literally paved the way for and opened the door for the enactment of the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965, which made the “American Dream” also possible for non-white folks.

White Americans extended to all groups the “spoils” of Black folks fighting for our civil rights and granted these groups higher status and even “honorary white status.“ In return, these groups joined in on anti-Black racism to seal their position and further align themselves with whiteness.

A tried-and-true tactic of the system of whiteness is using willing “white-struck” “IPOC” to perpetuate anti-Blackness and uphold the caste system.

“IPOC” Women Who Subscribe to the Playbook

Yes, I admit it.

I’m cautious and tread carefully when it comes to “IPOC” women who extend their “brand” of sisterhood. The story I related is not the first time I’ve been burned.

I’ve encountered not only their gate-keeping in the workplace but also their active participation in maintaining white spaces in the workplace.

You can bet there was a meeting that the VP of Training attended in which it was decided that I would not be chosen for the assignment. The “room where it happened.” And of course, what a “bonus” it was that the “IPOC” woman would break the news to me. Among her rewards for her part in maintaining the status quo no doubt included position, prospects, promotion, pay, perks, and (illusion of) popularity with whiteness.

Further fueling the divide is the unspoken “rule” of whiteness— that there can ever only be but few non-white persons in certain positions.

The “color quota” fear.

Too much Blackness is kept out and preferences given to “IPOC” who are the preferred non-white option—the safeguard option, the insurance policy.

When whiteness is upheld as the standard, the longing for it keeps “IPOC” longing to be accepted as the standard.

So I Thought a Thing

How is it that most company leadership agree that DEI is good for the workplace though it has NOT resulted in meaningful and measurable good for Black employees in the workplace?

Is DEI good for the workplace as long as it “knows it’s place”?

…as long as it doesn’t interfere with the big business of white comfort and white entitlement?

The thing about the VP of Training and others like her is that they think they are better off aspiring to whiteness than upending it and fighting for equity, inclusion, justice.

So far gone are they on “blue pill delusion”….

So “comfortable, “complacent,” and “compensated”….

So bound in a false peace and blissfully actively complicit….

An “unspoken” part of a gatekeeper’s job is to keep most Black folks out and to be the “beard” that allows called-out companies to say, “But we already have one (or two). And we have “IPOC” in our ranks as well.

Some of the ways REAL DEIL Folks Operate

🎯 they don’t play along (with the performative) to get along

🎯 they ask the real tough questions and challenge the status-quo

🎯 they bring attention to what’s not working and take steps to address it

🎯 they speak up and make moves to address policies and processes that keep “others” marginalized and disenfranchised

REAL DEIL folks…..

BE ONE.

Post Script— The VP of Training was fired several years later by “the powers that be.” Her unofficial offense: Growing too cocky about her worth and thus behaving as if she were untouchable.

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Is your organization ready to do the REAL DEIL work of anti-racism and inclusion?

Watch a demo of DOING THE HEART WORK OF ANTI-RACISM AND INCLUSION™️.

It includes the “Exploding the Myth of Diversity” Lesson. Peace and blessings to you. 🙏🏽 \o/ tmr