Black Let’s continue our conversation from yesterday with an explicit contrast between what cis hetero male centered self-advocacy is and what Black woman centered self-advocacy is.
“Traditional” Self-advocacy. The perpetuation of white dominance via speaking up and speaking out so as to center yourself within the system of whiteness—a centering which is accomplished by minimizing and oppressing members of marginalized groups so that you can advance your wants, needs, interests, and views.
Self-advocacy for Black women. The revolutionary act of speaking up and speaking out for ourselves in a racial system of privileged whiteness and demonized Blackness—a system that “requires” us to work twice as hard to be viewed half as competent while navigating how to make known our wants, needs, interests, and views without being labelled angry, divisive, defensive, or hostile.
As we know, the stakes for Black women have always been as high as they are unfair. And all this just adds more layers to our blaxhaustion. However, Black silence arising from blaxhaustion ultimately comes at a greater cost than does self-advocacy.
I hope this list of self-advocacy traits from yesterday were helpful for self-reflection.
- I speak up and speak out when others are silent.
- I don’t care what anybody else thinks of me when I speak up and speak out.
- I take care of and prioritize myself.
- I do the right thing even when it’s unpopular or hard to do.
- I challenge the status-quo.
- I call out racism and bias.
- I live by my own rules.
- I don’t give up easily.
- I undertake brave and courageous conversations and pursuits.
- I speak truth to power.
- I take calculated risks.
- I set and communicate boundaries.
- I am not swayed by trolls and haters.
- I don’t give in to peer pressure.
- I speak my mind.
As part of the self-mentoring process, what would you say are your top 5 strongest traits from this list? What strong self-advocacy traits do you possess not on this list?
Let’s go deeper.
People around us, sometimes unknowingly, have provided us with valuable “clues” for us to determine our self-advocacy strengths. Racist trolls and haters are valuable sources of information! Yes, seriously. Think back to the words that comprise the narrative that whiteness uses to slander Black women. Also think about the frequency of those words—especially the offensive ones such as “Black bitch,” which is a codified term that can mean “assertive” or “non-compliant” (with white dominance) and is used by whiteness when it feels threatened.
Consider the partial list below containing codified descriptors and labels often used against Black women. If you are a Black woman reading this, take note of which ones have been directed at you and the context in which it was used.
- black bitch, nigger bitch
- combative
- angry
- hostile
- defensive
- aggressive
- opinionated
- blunt
- controversial
- radical
- divisive
- racist
- uncooperative
- rigid
- non-team player
- attitude problem
I’m issuing two challenges.
The first is my challenge to Black women to rewrite the foul narrative that relies on these words and write our own narratives stemming from affirming and validating terms. For example, anti-racism educator and activist Denise Branch insists on passionate and rejects the “angry Black woman” trope that whiteness has historically projected. Sometimes, it’s a matter of re-claiming a misappropriated term. When I am called radical, the intent is negative. However, just as Angela Davis stressed– being radical simply means “grasping something by the root,” and that’s what I’m doing when I write and speak about white supremacy and racism.
The second is my challenge to white folks. Think about the times you’ve weaponized any of these terms against Black women either in your thoughts, your heart, or out loud. Would the Black woman you called aggressive be the same white man you’d call driven? Would the Black woman you called audacious be the same white woman you’d call brave?
It’s high time everybody recognizes that there’s never been a problem with Black women but rather Black women continue to face the problem of whiteness. Its pervasiveness has even shaped how we define, view, and “do” self-advocacy.
*Content adapted from The WarriHER’s Playbook on Well-Being and Self-Advocacy.
*Extended treatment of blaxhaustion can be found in Blaxhaustion, Karens & Other Threats to Black Lives and Well-Being
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