Self-Care is not Self-ish and 4 other Truths to Embrace

*excerpted and adapted from The WarriHer’s Playbook on Well-Being and Self-Advocacy (fall 2019)

Self-care is not self-ish. It’s smart living and smart business.

True, there is no “I” in team, but there is a “me” when you turn things around and understand that when you prioritize your health and well-being, you are better equipped to impact the world around you. Don’t let a faulty narrative prevent you from taking better care of yourself. When you do, you thrive in health and happiness for the best experience of life both at home and at work.

Saying “I need help” does not mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong.

We got it wrong. Being a “superwoman” is not about doing it all – all by yourself. A “superwoman” defines her own “all” and then does it – with the enduring help and support of others. You’ve no doubt heard the expression that “it takes a village.” Well, you don’t outgrow the village just because you grow up. Curate a tribe of supporters that help you and that you help.

Speaking up does not make you a troublemaker. It makes you brave.

Whether it’s speaking your truth or calling out wrongs, your voice is your power. And every time you lift it, you disrupt the status quo, you spark change, and you pave the way for others. Even if you’re the only one at the table saying it, there may be a chance you’re not the only “woke” one thinking it. But even if so, you can be the voice of impact for those not represented at the table.

You do not owe your employer loyalty just because you’re drawing a salary. It’s your right to feel appreciated, valued, and included.

If your company is consistently losing in this area, you owe it nothing and are not obligated to stay. Even if the company’s line is on point, lip service without corresponding action is like a stack of three-dollar bills—worth absolutely nothing. You deserve more, and you’re worth it. Align yourself with an organization that clearly demonstrates that its people are unequivocally its most valuable asset.

Saying “no” does not make you a “not nice” person. It makes you wise.

Just because you could say “yes” doesn’t mean you should. A well-placed “no” can be one of the best allies of your well-being. And I’m not sure if it’s because I’m in my 50’s, but I’ve mastered the fine art of striking a balance between caring about people and yet not giving a dam what they think of me. If saying “no” causes people to think less of me, then I get to “lovingly” release them from my thoughts and move on, stress-free. (See how that “not giving a dam” thing works?) Amidst life’s many pressures and demands, saying “no” with confidence allows you to establish boundaries and manage expectations, and it also conveys and affirms your values and priorities as non-negotiable. Full stop.