*Excerpted and adapted from Women Overcoming O-Syndrome: Real, Raw, Unapologetic (August 2018) by Theresa M. Robinson & CollabHERators
As a kid, I had a deep-seated fear that took me years to outgrow. My fear was cyclical and reared its ugly head in my life daily, sometimes with the help of my sisters. Their well-timed taunts were all it took to trigger it.
“The Boogey Man’s gonna getcha tonight!”
“There’s a monster under your bed!”
“That monster in the closet’s gonna getcha!”
My kryptonite was my irrational fear of the dark. My fear could reduce me to a quivering and cowering mess. I always slept with my bed covers over my head, so I couldn’t see the dark outside. I convinced myself that if I couldn’t see the dark, then that means the dark isn’t there. That’s how I rationalized darkness. The covers were my barrier, my shield, my protection.
My sisters used my fear against me. It was as if seeing my strength of personality evaporate at sundown caused their strength to increase. They would wait until nearly our bedtime and then proceed to tease me relentlessly about the Boogey Man, who all kids know comes out only at night. I barely slept a whole night through. When the Poltergeist movie came out, I was convinced my sisters had something to do with it!
Your Biggest Fear May Be Lurking Inside
When we were children, fear was sometimes the unfortunate by-product of our boundless creativity and imagination. Fear found a place in our thoughts and threatened us at times when we felt most vulnerable and alone (i.e., alone at night in the dark). Our childhood fears always involved “what might be lurking out there.”
That was then. With adult fears, it’s sometimes more a matter of “what might be lurking inside ourselves” that we are unable or unwilling to confront.
Some of us have mastered our fears, which is different from overcoming them. And many fears tend to be internal rather than external. In other words, our beliefs and assumptions–our mindset–can get stuck when we perceive anything in our environment, real or imagined, that threatens us in any way. Our baser instincts steer toward self-preservation. What-about-me-ism.
No wonder some organizations continue to struggle with diversity & inclusion initiatives. Real transformation happens through the renewing of individual minds and hearts, i.e., mind shifts and heart shifts. What individuals think and feel translates into words, behaviors, policies, and processes. The business case rationale for D&I is at best secondary to that.
Individuals can get fixated on defending and safeguarding self even if it means appropriating and silencing others. Even if unintentional, the result is that some can become part of the great “cover up” that seeks to deny the reality of darkness. Yes, keeping the covers over our head may provide temporary comfort, but the dark is still out there.
#diversityandinclusion #transformation #change #mindset #fear #facingyourfears
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